— The Bond BETWEEN MOTHER & SON
Can’t Be
Broken
I told my daughter, “Wesley is going to grow up, and he deserves a normal life, whatever that means…”
Her response was profound. She said, “Wesley is going to have his own life, just like I have mine and you have yours. His will just look a little different to us, but normal for him.”
She’s wise beyond her years and an incredible mother!
It’s an important reminder for us all: don’t fear the A-word (autism). An evaluation won’t change who a child is or the things we love about them. It’ll simply help us better understand their needs.
We’re all unique, and some of us just receive a title earlier in life than others. As for me, I’ve had a few titles myself—most of them were the B-word!
Did You
Know?
Research shows that early, frequent, and loving involvement of family members is one of the best ways to help children with Autism Spectrum Disorder.
— A BOY AND HIS DOG
Wesley’s
BFF
I am immensely grateful to have Richard by my side on this journey. He’s the one who coined the phrase, “Who’s the cutest little boy in Killam?” and Wesley absolutely adores him. When I mentioned that I needed to figure things out, I don’t think either of us fully understood what lay ahead… But we’re in it together! 
As both a grandmother and a mother, I felt compelled to be there for Wesley and my daughter. Wesley has ongoing support programs to help prepare him for school, and I wanted to be as involved as possible. With Jill taking care of the baby now, having an extra set of hands is always a blessing.
In my research, I came across numerous studies highlighting the incredible benefits of bringing a pet into the life of an autistic child. Intrigued, I looked into getting a therapy dog for Wes, only to discover that the process could take up to three years—with no guarantees that the dog would be a perfect match for him. It seemed a bit crazy, to say the least!
So, I decided to explore the possibility of training a therapy dog ourselves. Lo and behold, a training course appeared, and being the proactive person that I am, I immediately signed up. And just like that, MacKay’s Tiny Terriers began to take shape.
To help Wesley overcome his fear, he needed his own dog—a companion that could roam around in his safe space, where he feels secure.In 2018, I made a career change that allowed me the flexibility to become a full-time babysitter for Jill and Matt. However, with the recent developments, I anticipate Jill will not be returning to work. Another career change? Why not! I love animals, and Wesley could certainly use a new best friend… maybe.
I’ll explain…
When Wesley was just over a year old, he had a negative encounter with a dog, which unfortunately led to him developing a fear of dogs. This fear added extra stress whenever they encountered a dog during walks or trips to get the mail. Dogs are everywhere, and Wesley loves being outside—going to the park to swing is his favorite pastime.
My youngest daughter has two little Chihuahuas, and when she visited on weekends, she would bring them along. Wesley would start to warm up to these little guys by the end of her visit. Unfortunately, once the Chihuahuas left, Wesley would revert back to his fearful state.
Seeing the fear in his eyes when he encountered a dog was heart-wrenching. If you were holding him when a dog approached, he would grip onto you so tightly it felt like his body was melting into yours.
To help Wesley through this he needed his own dog, one that could roam around in his environment, in a space where Wesley feels safe.
Breaking down his
Diagnoses
Restricted or Repetitive Behaviours
- Individuals may engage in stereotyped and repetitive motor movements (e.g., hand flapping or lining up items) or speech (e.g., echolalia).
- Adherence to the same routines or behaviour patterns and getting distressed with even a minute change
- Adverse or strong reactions to certain sounds, bright light and touch
- They exhibit fixated interests: like playing with certain toys or listening to the same music over and over again
Two Groups of Behaviors
Researchers separate repetitive behaviors into two groups: “lower-order” and “higher-order” repetitive behaviors. You might recognize the former if you’ve seen behaviors such as fidgeting, hand-flapping, or repeating certain words or phrases. The latter is typified by a desire for sameness, a preference for routine, and intense interests.
Speech Delay
- Doesn’t respond/responds slowly to their own name or other verbal communications that should get their attention
- Makes babbling sounds and other “baby sounds” early on in life, then stops
- Is not developing/is slow to develop body language gestures, including pointing at and grabbing things
- Is not imitating speech sounds by 6-12 months old
- Is not developing a simple vocabulary by 12-18 months old
- Does not form simple phrases by 18-24 months old
- Communicates using pictures or sign language instead of sounds
- Speaks only in single words or repeats certain words/phrases (which are unrelated to what’s going on around them)
- Repeats words/phrases that they hear around them (can be from others or from television)
- Use words that don’t make sense in the context of what the child is trying to say
Children with autism are just lovable! They only need complete attention, love and understanding.
Autism is not being socially awkward
It’s not awkwardness. Autistic people are often excellent at socialising with each other, where they can avoid eye contact, stim, avoid small talk, share information and rely on their own natural communication preferences.
Autism is not avoiding eye contact
This is well known but factually inaccurate. Whilst many autistic people struggle to make eye contact, some are able to, so don’t assume someone who identifies as being autistic won’t be able to meet your gaze.
Lack of eye contact is often considered a defining feature of autism, not because it is particularly significant to the neuro difference, but because it is particularly noticeable.
Autism is not lacking empathy
No, it never was. Autistic individuals feel just as much – if not, more – love, compassion and empathy as others, but they express it in unique ways. Because eye and physical contact can be stressful and feel unnatural to children with autism, these individuals can come across as uncaring and selfish. The truth is they’re just as capable of falling in love and raising a family as anyone else.
Autistic people do not lack imagination
Difficulties with social imagination are a thing, but that does not translate into a lack of imagination.
What is imagination anyway? Some people think in words, others in pictures, others in a mixture. Is imagination simply thinking about something as it isn’t? Creativity is enormously important for many autistic people, some feel it as a deep need, and it is not possible to create without imagination.
Autism is not black and white thinking
This black and white thinking means that things which other people might see as ‘opinions’, are solid facts to autistic people. If something presents as black and white, and someone else describes it in a way which JUST ISN’T RIGHT, autistic people might feel the need to correct.
And this ‘correcting’ business is wrong apparently!
Autism Meltdowns aren’t the same thing as tantrums.
Meltdowns are involuntary responses to feeling overwhelmed. An autistic person cannot help experiencing intense sensory overload, and their reactions are due to a lack of control. Lets stop labelling autistic kids “naughty” or “spoilt” for something that they can’t control. Support them and try to understand the trigger instead.
